My fondest memories of growing up in Delhi involve food, family, friends, and festivals. And festivals inevitably brought the other three together.
Of all the festivals, Dussehra was (and remains) my favorite. Not just because it meant Diwali was right around the corner. It’s the ultimate story of good triumphing over evil. And it sparked my lifelong love of live performances!
Dussehra, also called Vijayadashami, is celebrated by Hindus across the world. It commemorates the victory of Lord Ram over the 10-headed demon king Raavan. In the days leading up to Dussehra, various theater groups—sometimes professional, others amateur (my cousins and their friends)—would perform the Ramleela (Ram’s story) in our neighborhood, in accordance with the Hindu epic Ramayana. The depiction of the legendary war would reach its climax on the night of Dussehra, when huge effigies of Raavan and his many heads were lit up with firecrackers.
It was electric. Good prevails!
And it felt real. It felt true. In the end, good triumphs over evil. We’d go to sleep happy.
As I grew older, I began to see past the literal to understand the symbolism of burning Raavan in effigy. Raavan’s 10 heads represent his 10 qualities: lust, anger, delusion, greed, pride, envy, intellect, mind, will, and ego. Falling prey to our selfish desires is what we must avoid.
I’ve thought a lot about this lately, given all that we’ve been through collectively in the past few years. For Dussehra this year, I propose that we proverbially light up the 10-headed Raavan that may be holding us down.
Before we retired a few years ago, my wife Sunita and I would often speak of how our lives would change—and not necessarily for the better!
We talked about how we might end up bored. Lonely. Uninspired and unhappy. We worried about being disconnected from friends and family. That we might feel homesick if we moved from our old home.
Friends, as you edge toward the next stage of your life but feel you can’t shake your 10-headed Raavan, here are a few suggestions that helped me.
If you’re afraid you’ll have nothing to do in retirement, list all of the things you’ve wanted to do but never had the time due to work or other commitments. Sunita and I would talk about having a games night with friends but were never able to align schedules. Here at Priya, we love our weekly antakshari sessions and chess games. We join our new friends and neighbors for BBQs and picnics, for yoga or an art class. There’s always something new to do or learn.
Explore your neighborhood. Talk to someone you’ve never spoken to before. Ask them about their lives. I’ve met amazing people not just here at Priya Living but everywhere I go. A farmers market is an incredible place to chat about local produce and recipes with the people who grow your food! At Priya, we have quite a diverse community in terms of cultural and professional backgrounds, so there’s always something to learn. And our communal garden and gatherings have made it easy for us to connect with our neighbors.
Try to arrange in-person visits or video chats and phone calls with loved ones. We have weekly calls and Whatsapp video chats with our children and friends. These were especially crucial at the height of the pandemic. Now that things have opened back up, our children visit once a month.
We’re living life in technicolor, as we say at Priya Living. We get together with friends for Bollywood Night, go on weekly excursions, and take advantage of being part of a community.
If you move to a new community, bring something along that makes it feel like home. For me, it was Sunita and our book collection! If you asked Sunita, I know she’d say, Billi, our cat. Whatever you need to make the space your own, bring it along!
Finally, make a plan … but leave room for pleasant surprises.
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